So I've got this screenplay. . .

that I need to finish and that I keep working on and working on, and not finishing.

So for me, the biggest thing I need to learn about in writing is to finish. Crossing the finish line.

Sure, I've done that with lots of songs and lots of poems. I've done it with lots of articles. But never a book, a screenplay, a stageplay, something like that.

So I immerse myself in creativity, by what I'm reading what what I'm watching.

The combination of reading Sting's autobiography "Broken Music" and watching a documentary on Mel Brooks called "Make Some Noise" and of hearing two speakers talks about politics via my job (Oe on Putin and Russia, the other summarizing the global political climate in the US, Eastern Europe, Asia and the Middle East in 45 minutes has got to create some kind of brilliant frisson. If I were laboratory equipment, all of the ideas and impressions I have soaked in of late would be some kind of vivid liquid, percolating through a test tube and over a Bunsen burner.

It's not fun, having a story in you that won't come out, and which is blocking the doorway for all kinds of other queued up stories. It causes extreme pressure. Sometimes it feel like the inspiring "fire in the belly" inspirational speakers talk about. Other times it just feels like bile, resentment at my relative lack of success and jealousy of others."

But when I  read about creative people who have found success, they have one thing in common. They work hard. They work their asses off. We're talking focus.

And so, when I start to whine inside my mind, I set myself to work, 20 or 40 minutes at a time. I also think of The Smiths song, "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby." Here are the lyrics. . .

If you're wondering why
All the love that you long for eludes you
And people are rude and cruel to you
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why

You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You just haven't earned it, son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You must suffer and cry for a longer time
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
And I'm telling you now...

If you're wondering why
When all I wanted from life was to be Famous
I have tried for so long, it's all gone wrong
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
But you wouldn't believe me

You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You just haven't earned it, son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You must suffer and cry for a longer time
You just haven't earned it yet, Baby
And I'm telling you now...
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why

Today I am remembering the time
When they pulled me back
And held me down
And looked me in the eyes and said
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You just haven't earned it, my son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You must stay on your own for slightly longer
You just haven't earned it yet baby
And I'm telling you now...

You just haven't earned it yet, baby
Oh...
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
Oh...
Oh


And I realize that the song is a perfect description of where I am. I've worked hard. But not hard enough. Because working hard enough means finishing.

—Sarah Torribio