Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Golden Girls/StarWars mashup. . .

A friend posted this on Facebook and it gave me the lolz. 

I would have left Estelle Getty in there and added Maz Kanata for a quartet of sassy fun. 
Maz Kanata: "I like that wookie." Blanche: "Me too. And he's hung like a tauntaun, if you know what I mean." Dorothy: "That's disgusting, Blanche." Rose: "I don't know, he sounds like fun. Sophia: "I wouldn't touch him with a lightsaber. "

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

The micro-miracle

The recession has made God rethink the use of his resources. He wants to be sustainable.

After careful consideration, he's decided causing countless micro-miracles is more energy-efficient that prompting the occasional big, GOD-in-neon-lights, kind of miracle. Seeing your crush at the grocery store? Yes. Walking on water? Less likely.

God conceived of the micro-miracle after observing the power of the micro-loan or mini-grant models adopted by nonprofits like Heifer International. He likes to joke that he's the original nonprofit. The angels usually force laughter.

So anyhow, you had one of these micro-miracles granted to you in the last month.

It may have been hearing your favorite song on the radio when you were feeling depressed. It may have been finding an unexpected stash of coins that let you to buy a cup of Starbucks when you thought you'd have to do without your day's one luxury.  First world problems hurt, too.

This is not a chain letter. Fail to forward it and nothing bad will happen. Forward it and your friends will feel inconvenienced. 

Shopping frenzy...

I was at a thrift store the other day and I had a handful of clothes. 

I hadn't been able to find a cart, but I wanted room to be more handsy with the racks and, in case of treasure, grab more. 

I set the clothes down in a corner and went back to the rack and, suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see two women lurking near my stashed clothes. And I was like, "These bitches better not take my clothes."

Upon closer look, it turns out that the bitches were mannequins.