Roller skating epiphany. . .

I had an Alex fashion intervention.

I always wear dresses. When I said I was going to buy some pants for a roller-skating excursion, Clinton, I mean Alex--"What Not to Wear" joke--said, "Wear pants more regularly."

What a concise and certain sentence from a 5-year-old. When I emerged from my room wearing pants and a top, he said. "You should wear pants and shirts all the time." I decided to get to the bottom of this conversation, the story behind the story, if you will.

"Do you wished I dressed like other mothers?" "Yes." "Do you wish I dressed more normal?" "Yes."

It's already started. I am capable of embarrassing my child.

The roller skating was awesome. Chino rink. Me gathering speed and remembering the old criss-cross move. Having ongoing flashbacks to my local childhood haven of wheels, rows of lockers, a snack bar, carpeted benches and the sheer number of traffic decisions.

Oh no, this little kid looks like she's about to take a spill. Better slow down so I don't mow down at the hoedown. Okay, now I've moved to the center of the rink, but that's where the speed demons and skate-dancers hang out. It's my first time on skates in 15 years, for God's sake.

The DJ spun tunes like "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind and Fire and "Get into the Groove" by Madonna. That song's vid makes ample use of footage from "Desperately Seeking Susan," which is not a profound movie but is marked by the outrageous confidence and sensuality of the title character.

Madonna may be known for image, but you can't underestimate that voice. Deep, husky, unfailingly melodic and aimed to make you want to hit the dance floor. Like you're at a wedding and you're talking to someone about the weather or how you know the bride and groom and suddenly this prime song comes on and you're like, "Hold up a minute. Hold that thought. I've got to dance to this song" and abandon the conversation without apology. (The former incidence occurred to me about three weeks ago.)

The skate Dj (skee-jay?) also played "Fancy" by Iggy Azaelea and "Talk Dirty To Me." Both of the former were heavily edited, including a well-placed volume dip on the line, "You should want a bad b*!> like me" and a new chorus of "Talk, talk to me." I thought I was cool because I was able to sing along with Iggy's intro: "First thing first, I'm the realest. Drop this and let the whole world feel this. And I'm still in the murder bidness. I can hold you down, like I'm giving lessons in physics." Where did an Australian outback girl learn to say "bidness"?

And then the room went dark and the colored lights came out and "Thriller" by Michael Jackson came on. What an amazing song. Who else could write a horror-themed tune that makes everyone feel fantastic? Do you remember what an EVENT it was when "Thriller" came out? How about that producing on the part of Quincy Jones? "PYT" and "Wanna Be Starting Something" are a thrilling, mind-boggling wall of sound. That sped-up chipmunk chorus on PYT! That crazy word-scatting on "Wanna Be": "You're a vegetable. . .still they eat you. . .you're just a buffet. . .they eat off you." What does it all mean?

My favorite song was always the wistful, shuddering "Human Nature," which makes me think I must have been a pretty sensitive kid: "If this town, is just an apple. Then let me take a bite. . ."

When I rewatch the "Thriller" video again, I am struck by something. Michael Jackson had some acting chops. That scene in the movie theater where his girlfriend is terrified and he is gleefully eating popcorn is hilarious. His face!

Anyhow, the upshot is that the rollerskating was amazing, and I want to go back as soon as possible. Perhaps on the third Friday of the month, which, it was announced over the PA before the crowd was invited to join in "The Hokey Pokey," is Michael Jackson Night.

It was fun AND exercise. It all served to remind me that pop music is everything, and that it feels good to move your body. Rollerskating is awesome.

*By the way, while I did have a personal epiphany, it was also a family outing. My son comported himself very well for his first time at the skating rink and wants to go back. At first we were helping him crab-claw along the rink's outside barrier, but it was a tricky business, especially with all of the other newbies likewise crab-cralling. It was when Brian I pulled him away from the wall and put him in the middle, with all of us holding hands, that he started to get the hang of it. Having kids and taking them back to a venue you loved as a kid can make you go full-circle or, in the case of a skating rink, full oval.

--Sarah Torribio