Of Star Trek and jellyfish. . .

Greetings.

Some things in nature could only have been conceived of by "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry.  Like they're from one of those episodes where Captain Kirk and his loyal crew encounter a planet so inhospitable that the poor guy in the red shirt dies twice.

Takes the jellyfish, that luminescent sandwich bag of languorous movement. And then there are those tentacles, with a sting that starts like cold vinegar and then commences to do a cha cha, wearing stilletos, on your nerves.

flickr photo by Kevin Dooley

I am able to describe the sensation with accuracy because when I was five, I found a bunch of kids on the beach, pointing at a dead jellyfish. Curiosity got the better of me and I nudged it with my foot.

I remember bawling while my mom held me under the beach shower. Years later, I got some payback when I sampled a dish of cold jellyfish at a Chinese restaurant with some Chinese friends. I didn't like the taste or texture. Stung again.

Still years later, I reached an emotional rapprochement when I composed the following dreamy little epigram:

Hey there, jellyfish. Sting me and I'll make a wish!


I had to come around because let's admit it, jellyfish are cool. Have you ever been to an aquarium and stared at a tank of jellyfish for any period of time? It's a living lava lamp.

Wish you could have your own little jellyfish tank? You can. Place your orders now for the first small, affordable jellyfish tank, with color-changing LED lights included.  This remarkable gadget was created by marine biologist "Alex," who with the help of a Kickstarter campaign has formed the company JellyfishArt to outfit you with those aquatic pets you crave. A kit allowing you to keep and care for 1 jelly costs $366. A kit for three jellies is $685.

I like the fact that he's not overselling it, showing the jellyfish wearing party hats and living what is basically a human lifestyle, unlike those charlatans vending "sea monkeys," which are really just tiny, primitive brine shrimp. 

Interestingly enough, brine shrimp are what your pet jellyfish will be eating.

One of the best things about a Desktop Jellyfish Tank is that you can pretend that you are a lair-ensconced villain from a James Bond movie. You probably do it anyways, don't we all? ("No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!") But now it'll be way more convincing.

Anyhow, a couple of years ago, a strange and fascinating species just got weirder with the discovery of the Turritopsis dohrni, more commonly known as the "immortal jellyfish."

Looking at this bizarre sucker, and hearing about its strange nature in various articles--"There is a Species of Jellyfish That Can Age Backwards" and "Can a Jellyfish Unlock the Secret of Immortality?"-- I became more and more convinced of a hypothesis I conceived of a while ago.

 God is "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry. Or let me put it more bluntly. "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry is God. Read this New York Times article on this living piece of science fiction and see if you agree.

To be read in a lightning-fast radio commercial disclaimer voice: 

*The above post is in no way intended to demean or threaten the religious beliefs of the reader. But come on. Jellyfish are frickin' weird!

—Sarah Torribio