Halloween thrills. . .

So here's the situation. I signed up  for a Halloween potluck at my work, in the theme of "breakfast." And something made me say the following words: "I'll bring Eggs Benedict."

I made my preparations. I bought Canadian bacon and fried it in a pan, then kept it warming in the oven. I packed English muffins to toast at work and two Trader Joe tubs of hollandaise sauce which I planned to microwave at work and then keep warm in a small crock pot. And then, it was time for the piece de  resistance. It was time to poach many many eggs and slide them into a crockpot. This was tricky. Keep in mind that I was simultaneously McGeyver-ing a last-minute Halloween costume--that of "an '80s girl"— feating a dress with beige and hot pink diagonal stripes. Form-fitting and not flattering at this juncture.  . . but when accessorized with a side ponytail, some socks cut into leg-warmers and a pink lace glove, "My message is perfectly simple. My meaning is clear."

As I speak, I believe I am being "tagged" on Facebook. I'll try to just go with it, because I've been using this saying by Abraham Lincoln as a mantra against virtual vanity: "There are no bad pictures. That's just how your face [and body] looks sometime."

But I digress. I realized I had gone too far with my culinary vow. I had promised I would pull off a dish meant to be cooked one at a time and to a turn, and served immediately. It was a task at which Madge Stuart herself would blanch at ( I mean turn pale, not engage in the popular cooking method).

I just happened to have watched a thrilling production of the musical "Jekyll & Hyde"  at Claremon'ts Candlelight Pavilion last week ( It was fabulous, to put it in theater-lover's terms, positively splendid. I wrote a review of the show for the Claremont Courier, where I work). 

With its dramatic soundtrack in the back of my mind, I was inspired to write a rueful, gothic-style song, a la "Phantom of the Opera," expressing my strange mixture of trepidation and wild optimism at being able to pull off Sarah's No Fuss Potluck Eggs Benedict™. Surely, I was playing God. Consult the song below for a hint as to the tone and tune you can use to interpret my unforgettable lyrics. 

(You're not losing your mind, by the way. That IS Hasselhoff playing Dr. Jekyll.)

And now I give you: "The Madness of the Eggs."

What is this dangerous PRIDE that possesses me?

To say I'd bring this recipe!

Oh yes, I said, eggs Benedict. 

(softly)

Will this project be

(with emphasis)

the death of me!

Pinterest fail, someone wails. 

I see it in ad-VANCE!

Too late now, cannot bail

And so I won't just cook--I'll dance!

I give you permission to use this song as needed, adding the over-ambitious dish of your selection. And by the way, it turned out surprisingly well, although the consistency of the bacon could have been better.

And now that I'm done flying by the seat of my pants, I wish you success in all of your Halloween endeavors.

—Sarah Torribio