If you don't sing along with "Back on the Chain Gang" by The Pretenders age 30, you don't have a heart. If you don't sing along with this song after age 30, you don't have a brain.
Sorry. I get a little authoritarian when it comes to the other side-of-the tracks/ intergalactic talent of Pretenders front-woman Chrissie Hynde. She's life itself, isn't she! (I'm paraphrasing a quote by Adele, who in one interview said the same of R&B songstress and Barbados beauty Rihana.)
Chrissie Hynde has that irresistible tough-girl exterior, underscored by her trademark long shaggy bangs. The message is clear, or perhaps two messages are clear.
One is back-off pugnacious: "You don't look at me, I look at you."
The other represents a flirtier sort of rebellion: "I have pretty eyes. If you're lucky, maybe one day you can see them."
In other fangirl admonitions, don't underestimate Chrissie Hynde's lyrical ability. I mean, has there ever been a better line than, "Like a brick in the battle was your part. In the wretched life of a lonely heart."
Chrissie he also plays a mean guitar. Thanks to her catchy, original and impeccable riffs, Pretenders songs find a cozy place in your heart and stay there.
In another note
You know how old people tell the same stories over and over? I'm heading there.
Every time I think of Chrissie Hynde, I can't resist recounting an anecdote from Morrisey's 2013 biopic, aptly titled "Autobiography."
(Easing a sim cigarette into a long ivory holder)
"So Morrissey is at a pub in England with his friend and fellow singer/songwriter Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders."
(lighting the cig with nicotine-stained fingers and inhaling deeply)
"The musical icons are enjoying a pint when a woman approaches Chrissie, breathless."
(exhaling a cloud of smoke toward my imagined audience.)
"The woman exclaims, 'Oh my God ! You're Chrissie Hynde. You used to mean so much to me.'"Chrissie's response to the backhanded compliment? "Well, I don't now, so fuck off!"